How can he not care, at just a snap of a finger, just all of a sudden not care. He says that he still does, but obviously he does not. Just a stone cold face, never smiling - not at me. No emotion at all, not a hint of sorrow. Just this is how things are, and fuck you.
I love him to death, to the point that I don't know what to do. All I can think about is him. And whenever I do, its all I can do to keep myself from crying, crying because I miss him. And its all my fault. Every little bit of it, and nothing I can do to make it right.
Nothing in the world that I could ever do, to make it one tiny little bit better. All I want to do, is hug him, and be hugged, held, kissed. Forgiven. Apparently I never forgive people. And apparently I'm a horrible person. Everyone says thats not true, but thats what he said, and I hate to admit it but I value his opion more than anyone elses. Hes my world, and hes gone... and so too thus is my world.
What am I going to do now... Now that I'm living alone. I feel like an empty shell now, just going through the motions. Can't eat or drink, hardly sleep. I feel sick inside, and all I want to do now is cry. I love him too much, can't believe that I've lost him.
I just dont' know what to do now. Don't have the slightest clue... All I want to do is lay down and die... make it all go away... Just make the pain stop, make it stop hurting.
This Blog
This blog is about my & my families lives. Much of whats here is (and will be) about us, what we are doing, feeling, thinking.
I'm a stay at home mom right now, and am loving it. My son was born in March of 2007, and he's super - growing like a little weed, and learning about the world around him. He was breastfeed exclusivly till around 6.5 months when we started letting him self-feed. Now he eats everything (though he's still nursing like a pro!), and is just an amazing little guy. He's slowly learning how to walk, so he can get it even more stuff than he does already. In many ways I can't wait. In others, I hope he takes his time!!
I also have a strong activist side of me, so from time to time, you'll see things that have me in a tizzy for whatever reason - Darfur, the Congo, Iraq, the environment, and the many other things I feel strongly about. If you happen to agree and would like to help out, I urge you to check out my links under Activism. Find your state's PIRG, write your senators, congressman, etc about things that you believe in (or don't!), just get involved. This country of ours needs you, me and everyone to start caring. Because if we don't, pretty soon there's not going to be much left to care about.
I'm a stay at home mom right now, and am loving it. My son was born in March of 2007, and he's super - growing like a little weed, and learning about the world around him. He was breastfeed exclusivly till around 6.5 months when we started letting him self-feed. Now he eats everything (though he's still nursing like a pro!), and is just an amazing little guy. He's slowly learning how to walk, so he can get it even more stuff than he does already. In many ways I can't wait. In others, I hope he takes his time!!
I also have a strong activist side of me, so from time to time, you'll see things that have me in a tizzy for whatever reason - Darfur, the Congo, Iraq, the environment, and the many other things I feel strongly about. If you happen to agree and would like to help out, I urge you to check out my links under Activism. Find your state's PIRG, write your senators, congressman, etc about things that you believe in (or don't!), just get involved. This country of ours needs you, me and everyone to start caring. Because if we don't, pretty soon there's not going to be much left to care about.
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