Hmpht. I hate fighting. Most of all I hate fighting with Kevin. It happend again last night. This time because I told Corey's mother that her son does coke (and, if, as she claims, she doesn't give him enough money to do so, he probably sells weed in order to have money to do coke), sue me. He fucking leaped on top of me, and tried to punch me in the face as hard as he fucking could. And then, when *I* went back to try and apologize for kick/pushing him in the back with my foot and telling him to shut the fuck up, he slapped me across the face. And then proceeded to punch more holes in our walls, and in our door. And hasn't said a damn thing to me since then. But I'm supposed to be just all happy happy joy joy about it, as if nothing fucking happend. Fuck off.

I love Kevin to death, I really really do. But I can't put up with this shit forever. There comes a point where I just can't, and won't up with it anymore. If shit doesn't change, and change big, in the next week I'm moving out. I just can't deal with it anymore.

So this Saturday was my grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary. And it actually went remarkably well. Got to see basicly my Dads ENTIRE family... both sides!! Including several people that I haven't seen in years... And of course everyone wanted to hear about Peru, and where I'm going next (Canada. Then Spain.). So yeah, twas quite nice.

Bah. A week later, here we are.

Yesterday was Kevin's 23rd Birth Day. So guess what happend? I finally couldn't take it anymore and blew up at him over the entire past weeks BS (Corey STILL hasn't spoken a word to me, shocker). Its the maddest I've ever been at Kevin. But at least now he knows how I feel, and maybe next time one of his friends decides its their right to talk shit, he'll say something, instead of pretending nothings going on and even laughing from time to time.

Anyhow though, eventually everything worked out an we went to a party together (minus Corey and Mark).

Another night, another fight. This is why I quit drinking.

So yeah. Last night, I got drunk super super early an passed out happily on the couch around 8 or 9pm. I woke up at 11pm to having shit thrown at me and lots of other crap being thrown around the room as Mickey and Corey (and to a much lesser degree, Mark) went insane. Honestly, the smart thing for me to do at this point would undoubtably been to have just gone to bed. But, of course, seeing as I was still drunk (and no longer tired. It's amazing how fast you can wake up when people are literally THROWING things at you...), I couldn't think rationally enough to do so. This is why I quit drinking.

Eventually one person left, leaving one of the main instigators of the problem at our house w/o a way back home (Mickey)... and she kept trying to get others to drive her home (and EVERYONE was drunk). So, I took all the keys I could find/see and hid them. Sue me. I just didn't think that anyone else needed a DUI.

So then, Kevin (my boyfriend) starts begging me to give him his keys back so he can drunkenly drive Mickey home. I wouldn't do it, so Corey started calling me names - cunt, hoar, slut, etc for no good f'ing reason, other than I wouldn't let a drunk drive another drunk home. Once again, sue me. So eventually I got tired of being called names and kicked him in the back an told him to shut the fuck up. He wouldn't so I kicked him again, an he attacked me - literally. He seriously got up and leaped ontop of me an tried his damndest to punch me in the face. I blocked, an kicked *HIM* in the face, apparently breaking his glasses in the process. Not much else important happend after that except a lil more fighting here and there.

Only now, he's saying its against the rules to kick people in the face. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I must have missed that part of the "Rules of Engagement" lecture. F' Off!! If your going to jump on me and try to pummel me in the face, I, personally, am going to KICK you wherever the hell I can to best get you off of me. If your face happens to be that location, then thats where your going to get kicked. F Off.

So then, my boyfriend was pissed and dissapeared for something around 3-4 hours. I cooled down went out tried to talk to him (where I got slapped a couple of times, an laughed at him, cause he was being SOO f'ing stupid an retarded at that point). Then, I went to try and find my boyfriend. Didn't succeded (as it turns out, he went WAY farther than I thought he did...), came back and what do we have here? But like 3 or 4 more holes punched in the walls. Curtesy of Core. I went to bed, an now here we are the next day. Don't know what to do. Kevin is apparently mostly mad at Corey but also mad at me... so yeah. I get to sit back here in our room, while they all do their thing in the family room. Stupid f'ing drunk bastards.

Wow. So I don't think I've ever wandered around Hocking College for SO long looking for so many different random people (most of whom I've never spoken to before), in order to be able to graduate this summer. So yeah. Think I finally have it (mostly) all figured out... am gonna do an internship/practicum thingy with Norm Fox down at Robbins Crossing working with lil kids and interp students:) So that should be fun... Only thing that sucks is its at 9am on fridays. BAH! But, meh, you win some an you lose some... so whatever.

I don't know what it is. I really really don't. What I *do* know is that my roomates have made it very clear that they do not want to hang out with me. How do I know this? Well, see we have two rooms in our house with TV's that are 'public' along with a tv back in me and my boyfriends bedroom. Normally everyone watches TV out in the main room, instead of in the tiny cramped music-room with the lil itty bitty TV. Unless *I* happen to be watching TV in the main room. In which case, everyone evacuates to the crappy lil room. If I'm not home, (or am back in my room on the compter (like now) watching tv) guess where everyone is? The main room.

SO yeah, I've decided that its just far too stupid. I really don't care anymore. But it still fucking hurts. What did I ever do to the bastards?

So, once again, I'm going to be limited in what I can do in this world - because of *one* incident 14 odd years ago. First, it was the realization that I would never be able to fly an airplane. Then it was finding out that I will never be able to scuba dive. Now, I realize that I will not be able to get my Red Card. I wonder how many other fun/cool things I will never be able to do in my life because of one stupid seizure when I was six.